Battling Out Feelings (Lucian and Shekel)

Lucian wandered towards the fighting arena and he looked around, there was nobody here, and that was probably because it was in the middle of the night, he had come here to meet his friend Shekel, and it was one of the places that he knew they would not be disturbed, especially at this time when it was normally locked, but for Lucian it was with little difficulty that he could unlock the door, and Shekel would have no problem getting here at all.

With a small sigh he leant against the stone walls and looked around, the arena was rebuilt after the attacks from Britain so it all seemed very new to him, despite the fact that it was still modelled on the old style gladiator arenas, however there were stands now to come out when there were shows and concerts held here, and it was to these stands that he went now, sitting on the upper teirs and looking down on the empty place.

His thoughts turned to his life at the moment, or lack of it, and how he had allowed himself to be so altered and changed by one woman, who wasn't even really a woman yet. This was all so confusing to Lucian and he thought he knew what he should do, but he was unsure about if it was going to be the best thing, but the sorror was growing in his heart and he found himself, when he was alone, to be a shell of his former self.

Shekel flitted straight into the arena without incident. The people who owned this place were probably sick of having to repair broken locks so instead he'd merely vaulted over the fifteen foot tall gate and straight into the arena. The one guard who was hired to watch the place just gave him a casual wave as he had made his deal with the guard a long time ago.

He wandered out onto the sand and as he did so he thought he caught the sound of a thousand hands clapping, a thousand feet stomping and a thousand voices all crying out for their entertainment. Once again he was almost lost in a memory of a time long gone. Thankfully the romans had had night time events as often as day-light events.

Stepping into the centre of the sand he saw Lucian sat up in the stands and flitted to sit down beside him, both of them looking down into the sand-filled arena. He glanced at the other immortal,

"You have the most troubled look on your face little brother." he observed quietly, "Want to 'take a load off' and talk to your big brother?"

Lucian heard the flitting sound that accompanied Shekel's movements before he saw the man himself, he wondered why he had even asked him to come here, why he wanted to talk about his feelings to him, when it was something he had never ever done before, because he had never needed to, he supposed.

He just hoped that Shekel wouldn't think any less of him for it, or think what he said made him weak in any way, because he would hate to have his best friend thinking shamefully of him as well as others he had met.

"It depends if you're willing to hear them, Shekel." he muttered quietly "You're a lot wiser than me, you probably know how to deal with all of this sh*t that I have going on in my head, and will understand from...a creature perspective, where a human would not be able to."

With a deep breath Lucian rubbed his hands over his head and ruffled his hair, trying not to get emotional already.

Shekel had been expecting the call to do this over a decade ago; Lucian had been building up all of his emotions for a long time and only ever let them out through explosive displays. He needed to learn how to talk about his feelings because he was rather annoyed at having to regrow chucks of grass and wildlife when the other immortal had a little rampage.

When he was asked what he was willing to hear, Shekel raised an eyebrow. You didn't get to his age by being deaf to anything,

"I'm willing to hear anything Lucian." he told his friend simply before shrugging, "Wiser? Yes but only because I've probably made the same mistakes many times before. Now..."

He paused to wait for Lucian to calm down a little before speaking,

"Now what is troubling you little brother?"

Lucian didn't know where to begin when it came to telling Shekel about how he was feeling right now, and hopefully he would be able to decipher the nonsense that was sure to come out of his mouth when he started to try and articulate himself, the only person he had talked to like this was Raziel, but now she was gone.

"I feel like...I feel..." he tried, and then everytime he thought he looked a little too sissy and stopped, but, then he gritted his teeth and he started again "I feel like shit you know. I just, everything I do she bloody puts me down, it's been happening since we first got together, and, it's getting to me now Shekel."

Running his hand through his hair again Lucian reached for his packed of cigarettes and lit one up, and yes, he had started smoking because he was more than a little stressed about all of the things that were going on in his life now.

"I don't know if I'm the right person for her, if I'm what she wants, or just someone who doesn't run away when she abuses them 90% of the time that she talks to them, and apologises the rest of the time." he sighed.

Shekel watched as Lucian spoke, paying attention to everything he said, everything he tried to say and all the things his body language told him. Lucian, it seemed, was trying to reconcile his masculinity with his desire to talk about his feelings. Having master that centuries ago, Shekel waited patiently. It was not something to attempt to rush,

"Seems like the relationship is not all that you want it to be." he remarked casually before pausing and looking at his friend, "The first step to solving a problem is admitting that there is one. To stop this problem you must talk to her about it. When you're ready."

Taking the cigarette from Lucian's grip with a lightning fast grab, Shekel puffed at the now lit cigarette he'd stolen from his friend. He grinned cheekily,

"Thanks for letting me bum a smoke brother." he told his friend playfully before nodded, "Yes you will definately have to talk to her about this. Let her know how much it hurts you now."

Lucian scoffed a little bit and shook his head, that was the understatement of the century, this relationship had been going on for so long that it felt like he was beginning to get a little...bored of it, they always did the same things, and they always interacted in the same way, the way where they joked together and that was it. What else was there beyond that?

"I don't think that there will be anything left in the relationship if we stop acting like this, we don't do anything else but joke, and then she cuts me down in my joking and then...well I have to make the brave face on it." he sighed lightly.

Looking up into Shekel's gaze he wondered if it was normal for a man to be so self conscious like this, and he thought that this might lead him onto one of his other points later on in the conversation, which was a whole other ball park.

"You know, you could have just asked." he pouted playfully before lighting up another and taking a deep drag with a happy sigh "Things are just so complicated between us, I...I'm wondering if we've been together too long, it's kind of...the spark is going, especially in my point of view."

Shekel nodded a little bit. It was a characteristic of immortals that they wanted their relationship to be like what their life was not. Namely, changing. They wanted their relationships to be fresh, to be new and to be evolving constantly with the people in them,

"Well then I suggest you find something else to do otherwise you're going to be single for the first time in three decades brother." he joked lightly before shrugging, "You shouldn't have to hide anything in a relationship of equals brother."

He could see the conflict in his friend's eyes and he decided to answer the question that was no doubt nagging the poor younger one, "Don't worry, everyone has to let their feelings out at some point."

He puffed at the cigarette with a grin,

"Yeah but I rather like stealing cigarettes. Habit I picked up when walking in muggle cities. Poor buggers get so confused." he joked before shrugged a little bit, "Nothing worth keeping is ever simple for long Lucian. Take a long hard look at what you want your relationship to be. Ask her if it's possible. If it's not then you can't remain together and still be happy."

Lucian looked up at Shekel, and he felt like he was going to bare his emotions to him even more, he didn't consider this as a relationship of equals any more, Lucian was the submissive in this, however much he tried and tried not to be, he couldn't help it, he had to be the one put down, for Aquila to be happy.

He didn't know how much longer he could do that.

"We aren't equal in the relationship Shekel." he stated "Besides, there are bigger problems here, without the energy Raziel left me, I'd be dead, or having to cheat on Aquila by now...I don't even think that she finds me attractive any more." he sighed "For an incubus, that's a bitter pill to swallow."

With a small sigh, Lucian took another drag and blew it out in a small ring into the air, watching it dissolve and sail away from him; "Well being single isn't sounding too bad at the moment brother, not if it carries on like this."

It was becoming obvious that something was going to have to be done about his relationship, he just didnt want to put extra pressure on Aquila when she was already ill, but, maybe she was feeling the same way that he was? You wouldn't know until you asked.