Time to Think

Tarragon left the Muhe common room to escape his nightmares. He decided to head down to the wall that surrounded the Durmstrang Institute.

Once he was far enough from the buildings, he lent against the wall and sunk down to the floor. He was so confused with everything. Lukas' comments from the tower, Alys' lack of conversation in the common room, it made no sense. And the fact his dreams had gone back to things that haunted him when he was much younger frightened him.

Tarragon no longer knew what to do, so he sat and waited for a revelation, or something, to come to him.

Viktoria was looking around the grounds for a moment, she had nothing to do and she needed to think about things, there was just so much excitement in her life now that she often didn't have time to just think about everything that had happened.

She had been to the future, she had finally gotten out of Germany, and most importantly of all she had managed to become a teacher, something that she had wanted above all else.

Sighing happily as she walked along the perimiter of 'The Wall' she came across one of her students from flying class and wondered what it what he was doing out here, deciding tha she had better go and see if he was okay Viktoria approached him carefully.

"Uhm, hello Tarragon, are you alright?"

Tarragon was sat in his own little world, he didn't see or hear his Lehrer come towards him.

"Uhm, hello Tarragon, are you alright?"

He jumped a little as the Lehrer's voice destroyed the silence around him. He got to his feet a little clumsily.

"Lehrer Steinburg." He nodded politely. He wasn't sure if he was allowed to be here at this time of night. "I... I was having trouble sleeping that's all so I took a walk out here to try and clear my head. I don't mean to cause any trouble or anything, honestly. I can go back inside if you wish it."

Viktoria smiled softly as Tarragon jumped, truth was it was a little late for a student to be out but he wasn't causing mischief and she didn't really mind that rule being lazed anyway the sky was beautiful at night, a perfect time for flying.

"Don't look so surprised, you were off in your own little world there, I'm sorry if I scared you."

Shaking her head slightly Viktoria sat down near where Tarragon was sitting before he moved and sighed softly, lying down to look up at the blanket of stars, cool grass beneath her fingers and arms, Viktoria turned on her side and looked at the student.

"No need for that, I've heard that the fresh air is good for sleep, most refreshing, you tend not to sleep when you're worried about something too, at least, I do."

Tarragon watched his Lehrer as she sat down next to him then led down to look at the stars. She was very easy going and it was slightly unnerving for him to be with.

"No need for that, I've heard that the fresh air is good for sleep, most refreshing, you tend not to sleep when you're worried about something too, at least, I do."

The honesty between Lehrer and student was weird. He'd always thought adults were too busy to want to talk about adult things with children, he didn't understand.

"Lehrer," He started, his brow furrowed, "Is it normal to relive moments of your past on a regular basis, moments that scared you, or haunt you?"

He couldn't recall as to why he let his guard down, he thought that if he'd talk to anyone it'd be to Alys, not his Flying Lehrer.

Viktoria caught a look on Tarragons face that made her hurt a little, she always tried to be so friendly to her students, but, then again not everyone is comfortable with the teacher as your friend ideal so perhaps that was a good thing that he seemed unnerved by the innovation at first.

When he began to ask her something Viktoria smiled brightly and sat upright immediately to pay close attention to what he was saying.

So something was bothering him? Biting her lip while she thought Viktoria nodded softly, an understanding look on her face as her features softened.

"Yes, it's very common for someone who has suffered a loss or a trauma that this is evident in dreams, I have that sometimes myself, but not too often."

Smiling slightly wider Viktoria asked, in a quiet voice.

"Is there something you wish to tell me? You don't have to of course, but a problem shared is a problem halved."

Tarragon looked over at his Lehrer. He didn't know whether she asked out of genuine concern, or whether it was just her doing her duty. After contemplating for a while he decided that the fact she hadn't taken housepoints away from him and sent him back to bed meant she did really care. He breathed in slowly and looked down at the ground. He played with the grass between his fingers, twisting and knotting it mindlessly.

"When I was seven, my mother took me to a meeting. It was one of those pre-war groups, you know? I didn't understand at the time, but they'd captured someone from the other side, and were torturing her. My mother hadn't cared that she'd brought me to this place, it had amused her. There were loads of them, all laughing and pointing at this poor girl as she screamed."

He paused, he was shaking slightly now, but he wasn't sure whether it was out of anger or fright.

"I watched my mother, as she stepped sideways so I could see. I watched helplessly, as she... as she... The green light wakes me everytime."

He stopped abruptly, he no longer felt comfortable with his mutterings. He had said too much now. He always said too much.

Viktoria knew as soon as Tarragon started talking about Pre-War groups that this was not going to be a very pretty story and would probably involve some elements of cruelty, why did she know that? Because someone had tried to get her brother to go to one, and he had declined rather emphatically.

Waiting for him to finish speaking Viktoria sighed softly and hung her head, what could you say to that? After all it was a trauma for anyone to witness that and she had no idea about what to say, having never gone through it herself.

Shuffling forward she placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled softly into his eyes, reassuring him that everything was okay.

"Now, I have never had anything like that happen to me, and I certainly don't know anything about what to do about the more personal side of it like your mother..."

Viktoria smiled slightly wider, more optimistically.

"But I do know that it always helps to talk about it, dreams are often repressed emotions, or it means that you need to do something, I'm guessing you've not told anyone before? Perhaps if you write down your feelings in a letter, then burn it, or keep it in a drawer, you'll be able to get rid of the emotions you need to sleep well."

"I haven't told anyone before, no."

Tarragon nodded at his Lehrer's idea. It was a good idea. He'd do it when he had time and could think a little straighter.

"Thank you, Lehrer Steinburg." He smiled in her direction. He didn't know what else to say.

He looked around the grounds, the sun was beginning to edge above the horizon, he should probably get moving now, he had lessons in only a matter of hours.

"I must go, I need to get my things ready for lessons." He stood up, shuffled his feet awkwardly deciding whether or not to walk with Lehrer Steinburg, but decided it better to just go alone.

Viktoria nodded, very glad that Tarragon had decided to do what she had suggested, after all it was going to be good for him to get the memories off his chest, but of course she hadn't suggested simply deleting the memories...

Every memory good or bad serves some purpose in the future.

As Tarragon stood up Viktoria nodded her head to him, she herself remaining on the grass looking up at the stars and the faint glow of the sun rising.

"Of course, I shall see you later this week Tarragon, you know where I am if you should need me."